The Meaning of Life.

As long as I can remember, I’ve been asking myself this question again and again: “What is the meaning of life?” And not just me as I’ve come to find, but scholars, philosophers, and truth seekers from many faiths. Individuals have pondered this profound question for centuries, rarely reaching a satisfactory or definitive answer. But through meditation and study I recently realized that for me, I’ve been asking the wrong question. I recognized that I could shift the narrative from what life means to what provides meaning.  And through this subtle change in focus, I’ve been able to unlock a world of possibilities and a deeper sense of fulfillment.

So, I crossed the question off my list. I stopped asking myself, ‘what is the meaning of life’ and started asking, ‘what gives my life meaning?’ This simple, yet transformative change in my mindset has allowed me to focus on engaging with my life in a more practical and personal way. Since I am no longer seeking the answer to the enigmatic question of life’s purpose, I’ve turned my attention inward, to my own unique experiences, relationships, values and aspirations.

This approach is truly liberating as it allows me to ask and try to answer the question every day, in a new and fresh way.  It’s not a static, unchanging concept, but a dynamic, fluid reality that evolves as I grow, learn and advance. What gives my life meaning today may be different from a year from now, a year ago, or even yesterday.  And that’s more than okay.

The power of this perspective is in the infinite possibilities.  Meaning can be found anywhere, from nurturing deep relationships, pursuing passions, contributing to causes that are greater than myself or simply enjoying the present moment. It opens the door to a host of ideas that can make life richer and more significant.

By seeking meaning for my life, I become an active participant, driving my own life story.  I’m able to shape my experiences, clear my path and savor the understandings. It’s a journey of self-discovery, growth and fulfillment.

For me its about reframing the question to, “what gives my life meaning?” and actively, joyfully living out the responses that resonate in my heart.  I trust that this shift will result in a life that is richer, more significant and truly, my own.

Increase the Peace,

Jim

Embracing Minimalism: A Journey to a Clutter Free Life

As we gracefully cross the threshold into life’s second half, we may find ourselves reflecting on the years that have passed and the time that remains. It’s a phase of life where our priorities shift, our perspectives broaden, and an internal desire for a simpler, more purposeful existence takes center stage. One of the most profound ways to embark on this journey of self-discovery and make the most of our precious time is by embracing a calmer, cleaner environment. Or to use a popular broad but descriptive term, minimalism.

Minimalism, often associated with simplicity and a lack of material possessions, is much more than that. It’s a deliberate choice to curate our lives allowing us to focus on what truly matters while shedding the excesses that weigh us down. And for those of us past 40, the philosophy holds even greater value.

As our years accumulate, so do our belongings and commitments. Our homes can become a warehouse of memories and mementos, our calendars can become full of obligations and our minds can easily become cluttered through the increasing highways of information that are seeking every available offramp into our minds. This phase in life is precisely the time when seeking more through less, takes on a newfound priority and significance.

By paring down our physical possessions, we liberate ourselves from the shackles of consumerism. The vintage (and decaying) concert T-shirt that we swore we’d fit into again, the gift shop items that lost their charm long ago, these items take up more than just physical space, they may be occupying mental real estate. By embracing a simpler path, we can allow ourselves to create an environment that contains only the items that resonate with our current selves, honoring who we are today, rather than the person were many years ago.

Understand that creating an environment of minimalism extends far beyond the material realm. It involves simplifying our schedules, saying no to commitments that no longer align with our values and yes to experiences that enrich our lives. As we age, time becomes an increasingly valuable resource and simplifying our lives can help us regain control over it. With fewer distractions, we can invest time nurturing relationships, pursuing passions and exploring new horizons.

As we consider this journey towards a clutter-free life, let’s remember that minimalism isn’t a rigid doctrine, but a flexible approach tailored to our individual needs. It’s about creating space - physically, mentally, financially and emotionally - for the things that truly light us up. Beyond 40, we have the privilege of knowing ourselves better than ever before. Embracing simplicity empowers us to channel our wisdom and experiences into a purposeful existence, making the most of the time we have left on this remarkable journey.

Increase the peace,

Jim

Closet Art

For years now, we’ve been using a concept we call closet art.  We like change and it doesn't take long for us to feel that our home has that same old, same old feeling. We decided to create a systematic and inexpensive way to modify our décor without adding to our inventory of things.  

Closet Art

To simplify our home and to purchase less, we began utilizing what we call closet art. We use our closets as a place to store wall hangings so that we can rotate wall art from our home to our closet, keeping a fresh look and reducing the desire to buy new things for the walls of our home.

The concept is simple, and it is easy to incorporate.  Find space in your closet, behind the clothes or door, or above the shelf.  Any place that creates space to hang a piece of wall art.  When you feel inclined, move them around.  Replace a photo or poster in the bedroom with one from the closet.  Move art from room to room.  Get those creative ideas flowing and you’ll have the sense of new without the cost and clutter of new.  It’s another simple way to increase the peace. 

Here are some of the benefits we’ve experienced:

Promotes Minimalism: Closet art promotes the minimalist lifestyle, which can help homeowners focus on the things that matter most, rather than being distracted by clutter and unnecessary possessions.

Saves Money: By rotating wall art from their home to their closet, homeowners can avoid the desire to constantly purchase new pieces of art, which can save money in the long run.

Reduces Clutter: Closet art provides a designated space for storing wall hangings, which can help to reduce clutter in the home and create a more organized living space.

Encourages Creativity: By having a place to store and rotate their art, homeowners may be encouraged to create their own pieces or experiment with different styles, which can be a fun and fulfilling creative outlet.

Adds Variety: Rotating wall art can bring a sense of newness and variety to the home, without the need for constant purchases or renovations.

Provides Flexibility: Closet art allows homeowners to easily switch up their decor and create a new look, without having to commit to a permanent change.

Supports Midlife Minimalism: For those who embrace the idea of being a midlife minimalist, closet art is a great way to simplify and declutter their living space without sacrificing style and beauty.

Reduces Environmental Impact: By avoiding constant purchases and opting for a more sustainable approach to home decor, homeowners can reduce their environmental impact and contribute to a greener planet.

You can benefit from closet art in many ways by promoting minimalism, saving money, reducing clutter, encouraging creativity, adding variety, providing flexibility, supporting midlife minimalist, and reducing environmental impact. Give it a try.

 JS

Increase the peace.

IS THERE A MINIMALIST DRESS CODE?

Keep in mind, it’s life.

Am I going to argue, with my minimalist friend that I dress with too much flair? Never, I don’t care. I would not consider myself a fashionable dresser, but I do consider what I wear and how it makes me feel. If I wear a ring my late father gave me, a bracelet my wife presented to me, a watch I bought because I liked it, I’m not going to apologize. Minimalism isn’t about living a life full of nothing, it is simply releasing that which is not important so we can focus on that which is.

If I’m working, my shirt has a collar. It makes me feel the part. I’m an actor on a stage and it is necessary to the success of my performance. I wouldn’t show up to an interview in a T-shirt. It is simply not appropriate. And I wouldn’t feel good.

So let’s not make a list of minimalist requirements that restrict our lives. Add color to your wardrobe, rings, belts, bracelets, that make you feel good and perform well. You’re still in the “club”. And the club is a much better, more colorful place because you’re bringing the authentic you.

Increase the peace.

JS

Follow Your own map

It is hard to start this post without sounding so redundant, unoriginal. We all know it’s been quite a year. Frightening, humbling, life altering.

But as we adapt and move things forward, we can evaluate the next phase of our lives. Make choices.

The pressure to conform to arbitrary standards is never ending.   People have expectations that they inherently impose on you, simply because "your supposed to."

Your supposed to buy a new car on a four, five or six year loan, everyone does. Get the most house you can afford (read 30 year mortgage), have kids, get a dog, secure that 9 to 5... the list doesn't end. 

But you should end it, for you.

There has been a gap in our posts. We made a change. We quit our jobs and moved to the Southwest. “New experiences, new influences” is our mantra. For the last several years, we’ve reduced, eliminated, minimized. And these activities provided us opportunities. Opportunities we never imagined we’d have at this stage. We jumped.

New home, new location, new influences, new experiences.

I’ve always admired those who took a bold step, made a change, did something new. Now that we’re in it however, we realize how frightening it can be. But it is the experience of life that makes a life of value. New experiences and influences.

New Experiences

I’ll be posting more often as we navigate this steps in our lives. We are not retired, too young for that. We’re just taking a pause at the crossroads as we determine which way to go.

I wish you peace and life this 2021. And I hope it is full of new influences and new experiences.

JS

Increase the peace.

Going Through A Job Transition? - Free, No Obligation, Download

During a time when I was navigating a job transition, I ended up buying a lot of books that I didn’t read with money that I didn’t have.

I wanted to solve that problem. Through a series of conversations with my colleague David King, which I documented in detail, we created a focused interview strategy. We took this data, coauthored and published a small book, “High Performance Interviewing.” It was designed to be 100 pages or less, clear, concise and actionable. A minimalist version of a book one could say.

This is a difficult time for many around the globe. High performance Interviewing is available at no cost, simply download the PDF at HPI. It is free, no data is collected, no obligation is expected. Please don’t hesitate to share the PDF with your network.

We will get through this and we’ll be stronger if we do it together.

Increase the peace.

Jim

My Wish List Is Full of Clutter

We don’t buy a lot of stuff anymore. If we don’t need it, we don’t buy it. But there’s a gray space between a need and a want. Hobbies for instance. We want stuff to nurture our hobbies, but do we need it? Yes actually we do. Hobbies can profoundly impact our lives and we should seek creative outlets to enrich our existence.

But how do we walk that tightrope? Reducing clutter can be like dieting. We contract, then we expand. We’re not happy that we expanded, so we focus on reducing again.

One way I fight the desire to expand is through my Amazon wish list. It’s loaded. So loaded that I have to clean it up every once in a while. But when I want something, I look it up and throw it in my wish list. It’s strangely satisfying. I look at it, learn about it, understand the specs and I save it. Perhaps some day I’ll buy it, but not today. I’m finding that more frequently it’s not tomorrow either. Time has a strange effect on our wants. What we want, or need today is often not what we want or need tomorrow or next month. By postponing the purchase, I’ve eliminated purchasing many things that I certainly didn’t need and more importantly, that I really didn’t want.

Minimalism is like riding in a hot air balloon. I find that as I lighten my load, I am able to soar higher. And the higher I sour, the richer my experience.

Addendum: Another thought I’d like to add to this column. Consider adding up the potential cost of buying everything on your wish list. You’ll may be shocked at the sum total.

Increase the peace,

Jim

Minimalism – It’s a Lifestyle Change, Not a Panacea

The coin dropped as Elly would say. It hit me as I read a minimalist blog.  Nonsense I thought.  Stop implying that you (anonymous blogger, podcaster, YouTuber) are somehow happier or more self-aware and fulfilled than your audience because you’ve achieved some personal standard of minimalism. Other than how you feel, you have no data to support it. 

Somehow, simplicity promotes peace.

I struggled with the books, writings, blogs… that promoted the (alleged) inexplicable joy that occurred when they started getting rid of their stuff.   Of course you feel better.  You just went on a material possessions diet and you lost 20 pounds.  But life still needs to be lived, your kids are still going to scream at you, your spouse will be mad at you and your boss will be disappointed in you.  It is the way life is, jobs need to be done and relationships need to be nurtured. Life is not easy, it takes work. Life can be challenging.

Henry David Thoreau famously wrote in his groundbreaking classic Walden, Life In The Woods;

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived. I did not wish to live what was not life, living is so dear; nor did I wish to practice resignation, unless it was quite necessary. I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, to live so sturdily and Spartan-like as to put to rout all that was not life, to cut a broad swath and shave close, to drive life into a corner, and reduce it to its lowest terms...”

We had this goal in mind when we began our version of minimalism.

I urge you to follow your compass. Feel free to fail, make mistakes. It’s OK to buy stuff, but feel how you feel. Be in that moment. Does it bring you peace or stress? Learn from those experiences, learn to live differently, deliberately. Challenge your impulse to buy, and nurture your passion to live. But live your life, not someone else’s. Minimalism makes life better by making life easier. When we remove the clutter, our lives become inherently less complicated, providing the energy and focus to tackle life’s challenges. But it doesn’t solve every problem. Life can be difficult and that is OK. It takes work.

Some benefits of the minimalist journey are discipline, peace, direction, maturity and growth. I would argue that these attributes can help make us better problem solvers.

I would never imply that I am happier or more content than you, I don’t know that. But I can confidently say as a result of this voyage, I am the most happy and content version of me.

JS

Increase the peace.

It's Not How Much You Have, It's How Much Can You Live On

One million, two? I saw a recent article that says five.

Clearly, the majority of us don’t or won’t have that much.

So we all have to ask the question; Have we saved enough? How much do we really need for retirement? The answer is this - as much as we can save from this moment on. You don’t want to look back and say “I didn’t save enough”, you want to say ”I saved as much as I could.”

Actionable steps to increase retirement savings:

4 MLM Pieces: Material, Financial, Physical, Mental/Spiritual

1. Set a goal. Make it reasonable and attainable. If you’ve got $90K saved, make it $150K. If you have $40K, make it $75K. Retirement planning is a key component of Midlife Minimalism. Learn and then know how much you have, how much you’ll need and how to get there. Set reasonable short term (i.e. you have $100K and want to make it $120K), mid term (in 5 years you want $250K) and final goals (when your done for example, you’d like a million). Make progress your motivation.

2. Take action. How do you increase savings? Perhaps increasing your 401K contribution is a good start. Review the budget, what can be eliminated, what can be reduced. What do you have of value that can be sold? We’ve had great success eliminating clutter by using sales apps that make objects available locally (search Mobile Marketplace on your favorite app store). Make a goal to sell 5 things a month and save 3% more than you did last month. It will accumulate quickly.

3. Know how much you need. Attempt to figure out how much you’ll need to live on if your income did not exist. This will vary from household to household, but the goal is to find ways to manage this number. For example if that vintage Mustang in the garage costs $X to insure and $XY to repair, it might be time to release that hobby and bask in some piece of mind. If you can afford it, enjoy it but if not, please consider opening the barn door and letting that thing go. It’s not how much we make, it’s how much we can live on. Someone who earns little can live a comfortable life if they live on less than they bring home. It isn’t about the stuff we have its about the life we live and the peace inside.

As we’ve discussed in the past, it’s an ecosystem. We should balance our physical well being, spiritual focus, health and material/financial stability.

Increase the peace,

Jim

What is a Midlife Minimalist?

I’m sure that if you were to ask 100 people what a Midlife Minimalist is, you’d get 100 different answers. I’ll share my thoughts.

In my mind, a Midlife Minimalist is:

Too much? Too little? Or just righ?

1. Someone who is at a certain age (your number here) and forward thinking. A person who is ready or would like to be ready to make the rest of their life, the best of their life. One who understands this concept; as Aleksandr Solzhenitzyn so eloquently stated, “Bless you prison, bless you for being in my life. For there, lying upon the rotting prison straw, I came to realize that the objective of life is not prosperity as we are made to believe, but the maturity of the human soul.” And that the mass of material things may fill the outside but they do not sufficiently nourish the inside.

2. I focus on 4 categories that need attention; material things, finances, body/mind and spirit.

   • Material things: Determine what is important, valuable and essential - keep it. Discard the rest. For us the goal was this: If we own it, you can see it. In other words if you come over to our house, we have and we use what you see. We have no offsite storage units, no closets full of clutter, no garage full of boxes… We have nice things, we just don’t have a lot of them. And if we don’t use it, we don’t have it. That was the plan. It works for us.

   • Take a hard and serious look at where you are financially and start setting goals. Of course it can be difficult and painful, but that’s just a sign that it needs to be done. Believe me, 5, 10, 15 years from now, you’ll be so glad you faced reality and made proper financial adjustments. It will change your life. Consider “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko. If that’s not you, it could be.

   • As I write, we’re still in some form of lock down due to the pandemic. Health concerns are a high priority. As we age, actions we take, foods we do and don’t eat can have a positive impact on our energy level and how we feel. Eat well and exercise, it’s that simple (and that hard).

   • Please be aware that our minds can be as cluttered as our homes. Take space for quiet reflection and meditation. I’m not pushing a doctrine, just suggesting that the mind needs rest too and daily, quiet contemplation is a good place to start.

3. A Midlife Minimalist has a goal, a worthy goal of learning from the past and now taking specific action to embrace life and make the best of the future.

When I first began investigating this topic, I was put back by some extreme models. I imagined that our guests would be subject to card tables and chairs, one set of plates and we’d be dressed in the same black thing every day. That not us. We have a home, couches, colorful clothes, blue suede shoes, baseball gloves, soccer balls, TV’s and books. We didn’t join a monastic order (although I have a tremendous amount of respect for those that do), it’s just not us.

Our goal was simply to get our minds clear, our home and finances in order, eat right and exercise and apply a mindful spiritual practice that works for us. We wanted our home to be as it has been, a comfortable gathering place for friends and family. A place to share meals, create memories, build a rich life. We have stuff, but we’re minimalists.

It’s a doable and worthy goal and truly a lifestyle change that can change your life. We’ll be exploring more right here at this site.

JS

Increase the peace.

Declutter Regrets?

I want to be able to field those honest questions. We simply want to help. As my friend and his wife see their youngest become entrenched in his Junior year of of high school and his own plans to retire not far away, he’s facing the reality that it’s time for them to declutter. It’s on their mind a lot.

“Do you have any regrets about items you’ve discarded?” He asked me.

But I didn’t have a simple yes or no answer. After a long pause I said no. And then I quickly retracted my statement with, well I recycled my high school year books. They were heavy and I carried them around for 30 years and I rarely look at them. If they were on a tablet, well, I might have thought different. But they took space and that was years ago. Now however I hear that some teachers and fellow students have passed and there is something inside me that wants to look them up and remember.

But then I pulled back on that too. Actually, no, I regret not discarding those yearbooks earlier or even buying them in the first place because those who had an impact on my life have done their job. And I hope I have done the same for them and others. Flipping through those pages to see who that classmate or teacher was, isn’t how I want to live. Those black and white images don’t serve me now. It’s like a form a silent gossip to look at their 35 year old photo, “Oh yeah, I remember them…” I know gossip is not good.

The art of decluttering is not as simple as it seems it should be. That’s why so many struggle to begin the declutter process. But as we focus on the rewards that it provides, which are numerous and real; less stress, more time, more money… And and recognize that it is a process, a form of growth within us unfurls over time. It won’t happen in just one weekend, but like any exercise, the muscles and the value becomes stronger and more visible with consistent effort.

Now that I’ve had time to ponder the question, the answer, the honest answer is no, I have no regrets about anything I’ve discarded. Elly and I were intentional about things we kept and said goodbye to the things we left. And if we were to comb deeply through the past and the journey we took, we might come across a regret or two, but since we don’t look back, it hasn’t been an issue.

People, things, experiences come and go in our lives. Living in the past is missing out on the present. Live moment to moment, leave a mark. Keep what you want and need, enjoy the freedom of letting go of the rest.

Increase the peace.

Minimalism Does Not Solve All of Life's Problems (it just helps reduce them)

I read a lot about minimalism and decluttering and alternatives to the common consumer lifestyle that so many pursue. And I don’t want to make personal lifestyle adjustments because of someone else’s opinion, even a seasoned minimalists opinion. I prefer the facts. The true beauty of minimalism is that we can form it to fit what is right for us. One size and one color does not fit all.

My personal view is that decluttering is a the process and minimalism is the lifestyle.

As a midlife minimalist, I still like things. It’s just that I like my things more when I have less of them. I can honestly say that I know where everything I own is. My signed Bill Freehan ball, check. My great grandfathers billy club, check… Name them and I can tell you exactly where they are. There is freedom in that.

I remember countless times in my life looking for things, feeling the weight in my stomach and the stress in my head because I couldn’t find a thing. Its been a long time though.

The toughest thing for me about having this blog is that I don’t like to tell people how to live. So I try not to. But the message is too important not to share. It is easy to get caught in the undertow of life, but we can break free and live the life that we choose.

Minimalism can make that journey smoother.

Imagine driving across town for an event. You’re anticipating a great evening, but the roads are bad, potholes, detours, clutter. Traffic slows, time is wasted, anxiety creeps in. Everywhere you turn, roadblocks, potholes and traffic, stress. That is clutter. A decluttered life is similar to that same journey but on a smooth road with no obstruction.

Get in the car and drive that road. You’ll get there faster with a clear mind and a joyful spirit.

JS

Increase the peace.

Rhythm and Flow

I wish I understood the psychology of it. I’ll drive by an antique store full of rusty items or I’ll see a cable show with people who dig through barns to find old clothes, rusty toys and broken clocks and I wonder where will that stuff end up?

Furniture store catalogs give me peace. They show uncluttered rooms with matching decor and a few mementos to provide the personal touch . And while those photos undoubtedly sell a lot of furniture, I’ll bet that the environment those items wind up in will not ultimately, mirror the images in the catalog

It is difficult to be a de-clutter person and it is perhaps more difficult to maintain a minimalist lifestyle, initially. But the rewards are so valuable; more time, better finances and in many cases improved mental and physical health.

There is a reason to consider minimalism. Life inherently is a balancing act. And like anything, if it leans too far and topples, it takes a lot of work to reestablish stability. Debt is difficult to climb out of, a poor grade point average takes work to restore… But when your environment is clutter free and takes a quarter of the time to clean, when you don’t wast time looking for lost items because they are in their place, when your bills are few because you spend less, the transformation begins and you realize how valuable the journey is.

Increase the peace.

JS

It Seems Really Important, At The Time

The value of embracing minimalism is that it moves us away from material possessions so we can get a tighter hold on life, real life. Time for our family, travel, experience. And as I try to live my advocacy for the experience, I realize that being involved in too many activities can create its own form of clutter.

We’re entering that time of year when the festivals announce their lineups, the summer concert venues reveal their schedules and the final, final tours of our high school favorites broadcast their itinerary. And it seems like a really big deal, until it’s over.

In the late 70’s a record album could be purchased for less than $10. A concert ticket would have been $10 - $15. Today an album can be downloaded for about $12.99, but a concert ticket can cost 10 times that amount. So how many concerts can one person afford in a summer season? I can fly to London and back for the price of two tickets to some of the most popular touring acts hitting the stadiums in 2019. But where do I draw the line?

I confess that I’ve seen about 25 James Taylor concerts since 1976 and honestly, I only remember a few of them. The magic is in the memory, the experience. In retrospect I wish I would have seen JT five times and 20 more artists once. But in my youth, it was the summer thing to do, and so I learned.

When an event comes to town, the marketing can be captivating, everyone is talking about the fact that this may be the last time for this band to come around. But when they leave, they’re gone. No one really talks about it any more. If you saw a band in 1979 or 2019, nobody really cares. If you want to go, go. But don’t feel that anyone other than you really cares if you went or not. It’s your life, your experience.

There are moments in my life that anchor me, and most of them involve travel.

Choose your events carefully. What resonates with you? What will give you the most value for the dollars you spend?

Mindful decisions will provide the most value to your life and increasingly, the most benefit to your wallet.

JS

Increase the peace.

Transitions Can Be Managed. Or Not.

A few of decades ago, my folks called to say that they sold the house and they were moving permanently to the sunny south. I was the last of five kids, my parents were in their 40’s when I was born.  Children of the depression, they were then in their mid 60’s, retired and yearning for a warmer, less slippery climate.  Their message was kind but clear, if I want any of my stuff, come and get it cause who knows where it will be in a few weeks.

I lived in Chicago and they lived outside of Detroit so it’s not like I could walk over with my wagon. But, I was young, a few years out of the house, and I had a pickup truck, so I decided to make the three hundred mile journey for a brief visit to wish them well, say goodbye to my childhood home and preserve some of my treasures. 

Their closing was on a Wednesday and I arrived the previous Saturday.  My plan was to load the truck bed with the few useful things and leave the next day.  I assumed they discarded most of the property I left behind when I went to college, but to my surprise they had not.  The house was full of items from my youth, my siblings youth and, I hesitate to say, my parents youth.  “Do you remember this?” my mom would ask as she handed me a well made and surprisingly well-preserved child’s fire helmet from 1968.  I though you might like it.  Thanks Mom, I’ll try to shrink my head to a third of its current size and be a fireperson next Halloween.  “Maybe you’re kids will have use for it.”  Sure Mom, I’ll store this in inventory for when my kids are born several years from now. 

To be fair, my parents were not hoarders.  Their house was orderly, but full of meaningless (who am I to judge?) knickknacks.  And they didn’t keep a balanced inventory.  Stuff came in but little went out.  Clearly, they suffered from the very common “they might need it someday” syndrome. So into a bin, closet, garage or backyard shed it went. 

My six-hour journey east was relaxing, as I love the open road, Springsteen and Sinatra cassettes keeping me company. But a few hours after I had arrived in childhood home, I began to feel the stress. Mom handing me things, trying to relive a memory, Dad tinkering around with no clear direction.  Five days before closing and they hadn’t’ even started to pack.  I was worried they could even get it done.  That’s when I opened the door to the garage. 

There’s a common scene in movies where the kids enter a cave or a spacecraft and there’s a monster is staring them in the face. They stand there paralyzed in fear not knowing if they should fight or run like hell? That was my face when I opened the garage door and saw miniature mountains of stuff.  The “five days” reality continuously ran through my mind.  

My dad couldn’t park a scooter in that garage let alone a car. Bicycles, desks, tools, chairs, boxes of who knows what, filled two bays to capacity.  Things were hanging from the ceiling and walls. Some tools were in their proper place, but many were scattered on the workbench. Again, it was controlled chaos. And oh, hello, there was Calico, my cat.  You still live here? You’re still alive? I picked him up and cradled him in my arms, sensing that his advanced age, and the stress of the move was even getting to him.

At this point, my task shifted from being a simple retrieve and leave trip to a salvage and recovery mission.  How much stuff could I eliminate and make my parents move less difficult? Dad, you’re office desk, do you mind if I take that? Mind you, it was 6 feet by 4 feet and would barely fit in any room in my apartment, but it was heavy and I didn’t want them to deal with it.  “Sure, no problem.  Do you remember you used to hide under that desk and I would pretend I couldn’t find you?” “Good times Dad.” I replied.  All I could think of was “five days.”  

I am not a wizard in mathematics, but I do know to calculate the volume of a container (depth times length times width) and I was measuring and calculating every inch of my pickup, inside and out.  I spent the next 10 hours gathering, collecting, re-living and in the process somehow adding emotional value to things that I thought were long, long gone. To be clear, I really didn't even think about them as long gone because I never ever thought about them.  They just weren’t important, yet somehow, now that they were back in my life, (hear me complete set of Topp’s 1978 MLB cards), I thought that perhaps they were. 

I loaded up the truck, swept the garage, cleaned and organized as much as I could, hoping that my presence would inspire my folks to pack up and begin their next chapter.  We had a nice dinner, I had a good sleep and Sunday afternoon I wished them well, hugged them, held Calico for the last time, and I was on my way.  

During my six-hour drive home I had a lot of time to reflect, the hypnotically scaled back sounds of Bruce’s Nebraska helped deepen the reflection. Yet, I could really only think of two things; why weren’t they ready for this? And with an apartment slightly bigger than my truck, what am I going to do with all this stuff?

It was an early wake up call, but it took a very long time for me to actually wake up.

However as I look back, it was really my introduction to the necessity of midlife minimalism.

JS

Increase the peace.

Social Media, It’s Time For Me To Go

When we met, I thought it would be different.  

It was social, reconnecting, images of family and old friends.  Touching base, with former class mates and colleagues, comfort in knowing that, after all these years they were OK.  You told me it was about two-way communication, building community and I believed you. I was blinded; I only saw the good in you.

 I gave you so much, my name, contact info, photos and plans.  I trusted you.  

At first it was great. Being alerted by a former co-worker or schoolmate.  We’d exchange a few greetings. I’d see their houses, families, food, perhaps too much food. But over time I have to be honest, I became bored.  All of a sudden it seemed to be a competition of who had the most connections.  It all became less and less important.

We’re Done.

And you never really told me how my comments were shared.  I thought they went to all my “friends”, but perhaps not, I don’t know. You created algorithms to maximize my data for your benefit.  I began to feel we weren’t in this together anymore, now I was simply serving you. 

You’d send me notes, “haven’t heard from you in a while”, to create a false sense of urgency. And I fell for it at first.  But now I really don’t care.

And then I began to hear rumors about you.  That you weren’t honest. You were sharing my information with people who I didn’t even know. You took my private info, the data I trusted you with, and freely gave it to anyone who asked or would pay.  And I realized some people, whom I never intended to share it with, were actually stealing it.  

Sadly, it just seemed to get worse. People who don’t like people began to say bad and unfounded things about my brothers and sisters from around the world. It became frightening. The joy disappeared from the experience, and the trust was removed from the equation. 

The lies began piling up. You provided me news that was not accurate or true; you freely and uncaringly misrepresented places, people, events and things.  I started to question everything I saw, what could I believe?  You changed.  

In a very short time you’ve perhaps unintentionally, created chaos in our country and our world. I will no longer participate in your nonsense. We’ve been together a long time.  And now I have to say it’s over for me.  I’m leaving you. 

Life exists, real life. And it seems that the time I spend with you is wasted.  You don’t teach me anything that I can’t learn elsewhere. And you fill my mind with things that don’t matter or worse, aren’t true.  You can’t replace being there, present in the moment, focused on real friends and family, experiences. Images and videos do not replace the real life joy of travel, voice conversations and dinners with real food on a table..

As of this moment, I’m done. I’ll stay in touch, but it will be strictly business between us.  I will shift my focus to handshakes, hugs, conversations, prayer, meditation, reflection, work, phone calls, letters, books, visits and travel.

I’m not sorry.  It is not me, it’s you.  

JS

The Attitude Creates the Environment

I've noticed that people who complain a lot seem to have a lot to complain about. And happy people just seem to have a lot to be happy about. I think the attitude creates the environment. JS

Four Steps to a Clutter Free Life - Step One: Finances

Planning for what’s on the horizon.

Looking at the retirement horizon, there are key areas of life should be monitored and kept in order. Regardless of your age or specific timeline, actions can be taken that cultivate a rich life, materially, mentally, physically and financially.

Financial components;

I had the good fortune of interviewing a successful manufacturing business owner as he celebrated his companies 50 year anniversary. He shared a compelling and inspirational story of how he grew his business from the basement of his suburban home to an 80 million dollar enterprise. While I was able to glean several nuggets of wisdom from our conversations, one specifically stuck with me and I think of it very often. He said that when he started his business with a US $5,000 investment, he never borrowed a dime. Admittedly, he paid late sometimes, but he always paid and he never borrowed. “Debt will rot your guts,” he told me. It stuck.

There are numerous calculations available to determine the income needed to live a certain type of lifestyle. These formulas include expenses, food, housing, loans, healthcare… But imagine if you cold enter retirement debt free. Your home is paid, you have no loans, no credit card debt and because of your discipline, you’ve got a reasonable sum in the bank. Your monthly cost of living is reduced dramatically!

The swing between paying debts and trying to save saving and being debt free and saving is dramatic. It is hard to both at the same time and without debt, savings grows.

So, what to do:

Begin with the why again. If your not into it, you won’t succeed. But if you are tired of the stress and would like a sense of freedom from financial burdens, lay it all out on paper - here is a simple place to begin:

1. List the reasons your taking this action and what your ultimate goal is. Hopefully it will be something like a debt load of zero.

2. List your monthly expenses, and your monthly income. Compare the two. If your expenses are more than your income, you’ve got two options:

   1. Reduce your expenses.

      • Eliminate all non essentials, cable, magazines, online shopping…

   2. Increase your earnings.

      • Sell stuff

      • Part time it

There may be a period of time when you consciously do not take that vacation, buy that couch or splurge on a holiday, but the goal has been determined and the results are life changing.

Once the landscape is surveyed, list the debts from the lowest to highest with the mortgage being last and pay the lowest off first. Once that one is gone, high-five yourself! Now take the funds that went into the first debt and apply it to the next debt principal and repeat.

It may take a while, even years, but the discipline will reap financial and emotional benefits. Imagine how much you’ll be able to save if you had no monthly payments on anything but the mortgage. And when you reach that milestone, double up on the mortgage and eliminate that expense. By then your life has been changed. And the things you used to buy (waste money on) no longer have meaning and you are able to focus on the present life you have, not the future purchase or debt payment but the now

Of course as a secondary benefit, you’re now earning interest instead of paying it.

Increase the peace.

JS

What is the Difference Between Decluttering and Minimalism?

I’m delighted that decluttering is getting the attention it deserves. Lives will be changed in positive ways.

I’ve been asked about the difference between one who declutters vs. one who is a minimalist. Here is a short answer.

Decluttering is an activity, minimalism is a lifestyle.

In order to become a minimalist, you need to go through the process of decluttering, however what prevents you from re-cluttering is the minimalist mindset.

A lot of people who have eliminated the majority of their household items and are very proud, and should be, of their accomplishment. But then reality sets in and that blank wall looks like it could use some art, or that empty end table space can be refilled with a new beauty, that happens to be on sale.

We went through the process of decluttering our TV room into a peaceful place of rest where more meditation occurred than streaming entertainment binges. But there was a nagging urge to purchase a end table to store the remotes. This is when the minimalist takes charge; the minimalist does not buy the end table. We considered the following:

1. The room, in its current state is peaceful, complete.

2. The end table, if purchased, will reduce space and impact the aura of the room.

3. It is not necessary, it will require cleaning and maintenance.

4. And, for some ridiculous reason, we are willing to spend in the vicinity of one hundred dollars on a piece of furniture to store four remotes.

Instead, we added a small basket to a shelf in the room where the remotes now functionally sit.

Minimalist resist the desire to add or acquire things and focus on the freedom of having less.

Increase the peace.

JS

Step 2: Begin With a Drawer

As we contemplate the why and determine that yes, a change needs to take place, the next step is to begin, now.  Procrastination is not an option and is, in its own way a form of clutter.   It clutters your mind with thoughts of “Oh, I’ve got to get to that…”  Stop it, begin today.

Start with a drawer. Perhaps that ever present household “junk drawer”.

Take it out. Physically take the drawer out of the cabinet, desk or dresser and surround it with a wide open space.  An empty table will do, or an open floor.  Empty it, all of it.  Dump everything out so that drawer is nothing but a beautiful box of emptiness.  Notice the dust in the corners, clean it out.   This is your first big step toward minimalism. 

Now look at that pile of whatever used to live inside the drawer and from that make three smaller piles.  Pile one represents what you need to put back in the drawer, pile two is the trash pile and pile three will be given away, relocated or recycled.

Let’s assume that our project is cleaning out the kitchen junk drawer.  The drawer is now empty, and the pile is high.  This is not a trip down memory lane; embracing the day that rubber band found its way into your home or your fondness for that twisty that kept marvelous loaf of bread fresh is not in the equation. Nostalgia is not part of the plan.  We are making quick “keep, don’t keep” decisions.   Trust me, you wouldn’t call it a junk drawer if it had value.   Ready set go… Rubber bands = trash, twisty = trash, hardened glue stick = trash, recipe pad = keep, pocket knife = trash, fork = silverware drawer… grocery flyer = recycle, go, go, go.  Don’t let this project take all day.  If you dumped the whole lot in the trash your life would only be better for it.  This is a baby step.  The risk of monetary or sentimental loss from cleaning a junk drawer is nonexistent. Keep only what is needed, the recipe pad, some pens, tape scissors, glue, a small hammer and perhaps some nails.  Trash or recycle the rest.  

Don’t stop or second guess, your daughter will not need that pocket knife if she goes to camp in high school, she’s only two.  By the time she’s in high school pocket knives will have lasers not blades.  Trash it.

When this exercise is completed, toss the trash pile. Now, I mean literally, right now, get rid of it.  Drive to the garbage can outside the quick mart if you must but eliminate it from your home.  You want it out and you don’t want to look at it again. 

The giveaway, recycle pile needs to be given away (i.e. donated) or recycled. And please don’t think giving away means giving it to someone else in your home, that’s not de-cluttering, that’s rearranging clutter.

Organize the items that are left. Organize the drawer with the few items in a way that is functional and useful to you. Remember what is there. When you need that pen, you know were to go, the scissors, always there. Feel the peace and rest in it.

Thank yourself. You made a difference. You took a step toward making a lifestyle change that will change your life.

Increase the peace.

Jim